Did you know that some studies suggest that men are more interested in women who resemble their mothers? This uncomfortable theory speaks less to a Freudian complex and more to the fact that our parents are our models for compatibility. Idolizing your parents is more normal than it seems, but what if it goes too far?
Maybe you have a boyfriend who’s perfect in every way except one – he’s way too close to his mom. Does he run to her after every fight? Does he consult her before you on important decisions?
Sounds like you’re dating a mama’s boy. This kind of boyfriend can give you pause, but the relationship is navigable with some hard work and understanding! Read on to learn how to do it!
Signs of a Mama’s Boy
It’s lovely when you’re boyfriend is close to his mother, but when their relationship has become co-dependent, it has gone too far. These are the signs that you’re dealing with a mama’s boy:
- He shares your private information with her
- He runs to her immediately after a fight
- He chooses her over you or your kids
- He’s tied to her financially
- He still lives with her
- He can’t make decisions without her
Check out this article for more signs of mommy issues.
Relationship Tips for Dating a Mama’s Boy
While relationships often need compromise, in this case, it’s time to stand your ground. You should make it clear that you will not be a doormat and you refuse to play second fiddle to his mother.
This doesn’t mean that you expect him to cut his mother out of his life. But, set reasonable boundaries and stick to them to make sure your needs are being met.
First, acknowledge that you’ll be bringing up a sensitive subject. Emotions may run high. To avoid things getting out of hand, write down your feelings beforehand so you can edit and rephrase them.
Then, give him time to process his feelings. Expect him to be a little defensive at first, so give him time to settle down.
If he shows signs of wanting to be more independent, you can start encouraging him to take responsibility for himself. Encourage him to do his own laundry, schedule his own appointments, and even attend therapy to discuss breaking away from his mom.
Couples therapy may also be beneficial, as you both need to learn how to support each other rather than relying on his mother for praise and approval.
When To Walk Away
All relationships have problems, but if your significant other doesn’t want to work on his mommy issues it might be time to cut and run. Try voicing your feelings and use the steps we listed above.
But, if your boyfriend shows no desire or has taken no steps to be more independent, it’s not worth sticking it out.
Mend Your Relationship With a Mama’s Boy
If you’re dating a mama’s boy, you may worry that there’s no hope. But, with time, love, and understanding, you can help him break away and cut that umbilical cord! Give it a try, and notice the improvement in your relationship!
If you enjoyed learning how to date a mama’s boy, we have lots more relationship advice on our blog. Check it out today!